So for the past couple of weeks i have felt exhausted….. mentally, physically, emotional, spiritually. My homie were conversing and I realized i had a lot of unresolved issues in my heart. I hadn’t really forgiven MYSELF for my past.
God was desiring for me to lay everything at his feet but i was too stuck on what i HAD done.
recently everything just began to feel like it was too much, i wanted to run back home, or hide in a cave lol, seriously. God desired for me to talk to him, but i did not feel worthy.
This morning i saw a vision of Jesus on the cross in my heart, i heard the Holy Spirit say ” your crucifying Jesus, and your sins are upon him, but if you don’t forgive yourself he can’t be resurrected”. Every time we sin and do not repent, (when we have the knowledge and understanding) It’s like crucifying Jesus again. He died so we didn’t have to carry all these things. He died so we don’t have to harbor unforgiveness.
I need/needed a resurrection in my heart, in my emotions. I needed something i couldn’t provide. The truth is, we cannot heal ourselves. I had been trying to hide and heal myself for a long time. The thing about the resurrection is, when Jesus rose, everything was defeated.
May some of you can relate, maybe not, but if you do, forgive yourself, allow a resurrection to take place in your heart. Sometimes we need a fresh wind and fresh fire, and thats ok.